So…I took a leap of faith by going to Taiwan to study…Mandarin…again
A quick post.
I first studied Mandarin when I was just starting elementary school. I was at my grandma’s house and a relative taught me numbers. I have only studied it at school and in several language courses. There were times when I took two different classes: the typical one and the conversational class. There was a time when I was preparing for an HSK level 6 exam but quit as I was preparing for high school final and university exams. There was a time when I restarted my learning again. What good do the amount of classes and years of studying in the classroom do if I don’t practice?
There’s an alternative timeline where I might’ve ended up abroad had I been brave enough to decide so. It just always calls on me but I never had enough gut to decide. Deciding to do it now, at this point, is sort of an attempt to merge the multiverses. No more what-ifs. Let’s just see it myself first. May this be another packed chapter of my journey. May this be the youth adventure that I’ve yearned for. May this be a culmination of both what my parents and I had desired. May this further build my confidence so I can carry on with high spirits in life and embrace the endless potential ahead (and what a huge blessing to still have them supporting me).
It was a very huge gamble because I still have some work that I need to get done back home but we figured that I should just go for it — there’s no waiting anymore, and let’s figure out the adjustments that are needed. Not only that, the weather here will not be too cold or hot (but what can we say about the world’s climate nowadays huh).
Taipei has been great. Getting around was easy. It doesn’t feel too foreign yet (me, however, probably is the most out-of-place thing so far). My step counts have been breaking records (well if we exclude Coogee-Bondi walk before the pandemic began). I eat strawberries again (the last time I ate them was back in Wuhan, 2013).
I don’t know if I will make a study journal because I don’t expect it to be all easy and smooth; I expect pressure, getting frustrated and tired from writing everything by hand again after seven years. I will also have to confront any insecurities and social anxiety I may have but that’s what I signed up for. It’s not in the fine print of the terms. It is something that I want to overcome.
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I wrote this quickly because this is the end of February and it’s been somewhat lovely. On the last day of the month, which won’t come again after four years, I’m consolidating myself after not having a consistent, upward learning curve all the time. Expanding ourselves also requires time, not just space.
This month has given me the validation that, I was right to continue playing in an orchestra and I can still pick up Mandarin again, continuing from where I left off. I forever thank my parents, my friends, and my fellas whom I’ve shared the same passion with, for your abundant support. It is the greatest takeaway and revelation after being stuck at home for almost three years.
My pace. My lane.
Yes, I am now in a different country, finally venturing into the unknown (just for several months though, I can’t be too far away from my bedroom). I still can get to experience a plethora of new things after the whirlwind of the quarter-life crisis. The next three months will be faced with gusts of tasks but I hope I can withstand it as if it’s just a breeze.
